


Let Me

by AuthorInDistress



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, commission, mild internalised homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:50:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23002387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorInDistress/pseuds/AuthorInDistress
Summary: Almost immediately at the touch, he felt a shiver run hot beneath his skin, surrounding his mark like electricity until Kageyama dropped his bag at the mirrored sensation, his own eyes as wide as Iwaizumi’s probably were.They stared at each other, shocked, until the sound of gym doors being locked reminded Iwaizumi that Oikawa was still here.Panicked, he grabbed Kageyama’s bag and shoved it toward him, pushing him out the door, “See you tomorrow, Kageyama.”
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 11
Kudos: 340





	Let Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SabaTobiuo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SabaTobiuo/gifts).



> Commission for SabaTobiuo!

.

The minute Kageyama stepped into the hall, he hated it.

The school was the top in the prefecture, the team the best in the area and their Ace was in magazines nearly every month, but to enter it he had to sit an _exam_ and that required more motivation than he had.

He was stood among at least a dozen other students who had the same aspiration to attend Shiratorizwa and though some knew each other, most stood alone and read over their revision cards avidly. He supposed he should do the same but if he hadn’t learnt it by now, he never would, so instead he sat over a bench and tapped his foot against the ground nervously.

As the time went on however and more and more students began to get their notes out to read over, he started to feel a little stupid when he became the last to just be sitting there so he felt around in his pockets for something to do.

He didn’t really have anything on him though, or at least he didn’t think he did, but when he put a hand in his inner pocket to search he felt a folded piece of paper and took that out to check. Once he realised what it was however, he felt his gaze harden.

The top line read ‘invitation to Aobajohsai High’ and it came from the sport department’s recommendation template. He stared down at it, not quite sure why he’d left it in his pocket when he’d been adamant that he’d not accept the invite anyway, and unbidden an image of his two senpais from the school came to mind.

Oikawa’s face was cold in his imagination, unimpressed and disinterested, with his arms folded across his chest and his nose turned up. Beside him, Iwaizumi-san was blank-faced and calm, his eyes looking everywhere but his direction. 

Without even realising it, he had the invitation scrunched in his hands, torn at the corners.

“Kageyama, Tobio?” He startled, looking up, and saw that some of the students had left the waiting area and were sitting down in the hall now, “Is there a Kageyama Tobio?”

“Yes!” He stood quickly, stumbling a little, and the teacher regarded him before pointing down to the next spare desk.

“Seat 5C please.”

“Okay.” He grabbed his pens and pencils and hopped down the stage toward the desks, shoving the invitation into the nearest bin as he went.

Once seated, he watched as five other students were told to sit behind him and then after a third row was complete, they were told to wait until the clock turned 12 to begin. His anger from before was replaced with nervousness once again and he stared at the hand, watching it tick slowly up until eventually they were told to turn their paper over.

He did so along with the rest of them and though some started to write immediately, the first question had him stumped and panicked enough that his pencil snapped in his grip and he had to ask for a new one within the first five minutes.

.­

“So he rejected it then,” Iwaizumi concluded, looking down at the applicants for the first year players. Oikawa was warming up opposite him, one leg propped against the wall as he glanced over.

“Huh?”

“Kageyama.” Iwaizumi clarified, waving the papers in his hand. Oikawa hopped down, skipping over to take them from him.

“I told you he would.” He scoffed, flicking through them, “I mean after that match – well.” His eyes lit up, “Hey, maybe he’ll _never_ play again.”

“That’ll make you happy.” He meant it sarcastically but Oikawa nodded, smiling.

“It would.” He started to stretch his arms, holding one at the elbow and bending it, “Which probably means he will, because nothing ever goes my way.” He sighed, “We should find out which team he’s playing for though. Invite them to play a game with us.”

Iwaizumi frowned, “Why?”

He was frowned at back, “Why not? You want to beat him, don’t you?”

Sighing himself, Iwaizumi took the applications back, hopping a little to grab them from Oikawa’s hands as he continued to stretch, “That’s your aspiration.” He said, leaving to put the papers back into his locker.

He knew that eventually Oikawa would ask to see them too but at the moment they were safer with him; less likely to be lost or crumpled by something else. Or forgotten.

As he changed into his sportswear, he brushed a hand over the mark that he usually tried to ignore, feeling it out where it was hidden just beneath his left armpit. It itched to touch, like needles under his skin, and he swallowed at the thought that it’s twin might be reacting the same somewhere out there.

But then there were footsteps outside the door and the excited murmurs of his team so he tugged his shirt down quickly, the mark far from thought once their practice got going.

He didn’t think of it at all for months, either, not least until after the interhigh games anyway. Or maybe even before then, though he couldn’t be sure that a feeling could be classed the same as a thought.

Seeing how much Kageyama had changed had certainly sparked _something_ in him however and whether that had been due to their shared mark or to his own shame, the look Kageyama had given him right after they’d shaken hands had definitely been due to the latter.

He understood it of course, which was why he’d been careful not to mention it to anyone else lest they misunderstood and used it as an opportunity to bite about his old kouhai, or worse, ask questions about why he’d been glared at like that. But it was also tough to keep it to himself.

For better or worse, he shared nearly every fear and worry that he had with Oikawa but this was one that he knew he had to force back. Forever, if that was what it took, and while it was simpler to do so, the fact that the secret didn’t affect only him made it a little harder to cope with.

.

A week after Shiratorizwa’s victory over them, Iwaizumi lay back over his bed and stared up at the ceiling, fed-up with running through all his plays in the game and wondering how he might have cost them their victory, and just zoning out instead.

There was a spider’s web in the corner that he knew he should get rid of soon but some part of him was loathe to disturb it. After all, it wasn’t the spider’s fault that it was cold out, and it wasn’t as though it ever ventured out during the day or tried to bite him, so did he really have to get rid of it? Was it wrong to let it live? Was there a reason people rid their houses of them? Or was that just how things were _done?_

No sooner had he finished his existential thought however, his mother bustled in with the vacuum and used it to clean the carpet and then suck up the spider’s web along with one of Iwaizumi’s socks.

“Oh – Hajime can you – ” She gestured to the machine and he sighed, bending down to open it up and pull free the sock before it could jam anything up, “Thank you. The washing is done downstairs too, on the sofa, so come get what’s yours and put it away.”

“Okay.” He padded back to his bed.

“I need the sofa free so I can clean it, so make sure you do.”

“Okay.”

 _“Now,_ Hajime.”

“Okay!” He huffed, walking past her and stomping downstairs, quickly sorting through the pile of dry laundry for anything that was his before gathering it all together and taking his bundle up to his room. He then dumped it on the floor and hopped back into bed, staring up at his now clean ceiling with a scowl.

Clearly the universe hadn’t agreed with him about letting the spider be in its home, or had just wanted to remind him that the way things were done was the way that they’d always be done.

Which, considering how his mind was working today, unsurprisingly brought his thoughts back down toward his mark. His stupid _soulbond_ -mark, that he went day-in-and-day-out pretending he wasn’t thinking about, though he knew deep down that he was because whenever he _forced_ himself to think of it, he never had to try too hard.

Even the memory of when he’d first discovered its twin was so fresh, it was always as though it had just happened if he thought of it, shoving his reaction back into his face every time.

Reminding him of the poor way he’d behaved and the consequences of that, and of his guilt. That guilt however, had increased ever since they’d played Karasuno in the inter-highs, though logically it should have done the opposite.

Seeing Kageyama thrive with senpais that accepted and helped him was supposed to make him feel good, or even pleased for him, but it had only cemented the idea that Kageyama could have thrived much earlier, if he’d only been given some encouragement; a helping hand, not the backhand he’d gotten instead.

“Hajime!” He sat up at his mother’s call, groaning.

“Yes?” He called back.

“I need to drop your uncle off at his appointment, can you take yourself into town?”

He frowned, taking his phone out to see why she thought he was heading into town today, only to swear when he realised that he was meeting his friends in five minutes.

“Shit!” He scrambled out of bed, shouting through the door, “Yes! I can take myself, see you later!” He heard her leave through the front door and quickly went about getting dressed and clean for going out.

He knew they weren’t doing much, just hanging out really, but he hadn’t showered today and didn’t have the time for it right now, so just sprayed himself a bunch of times with cologne before racing out the door.

He made it twenty minutes after they’d agreed to meet and felt his phone buzz in his pocket as he jogged, wincing when he eventually saw the three of them hovering around near the park, looking bored.

“Hey, sorry,” He greeted them, “I forgot we were meeting.”

“Did you _run_ here?” Hanamaki asked, raising an eyebrow, and Iwaizumi shrugged.

“My mum had to go out.”

“You stink Iwa-chan.” Oikawa commented, dodging the blow that he got for that only to bump into Matsukawa instead and nearly fall over, “Ow.”

“Serves you right.”

They left the park together and headed into the centre, walking through the sweet shop and then the clothing stores. Hanamaki bought a packet of lollipops that they each sucked on as they browsed, with Oikawa immediately finding some ugly sweater that he seemed to like for some reason and running off to buy it, whilst Iwaizumi absently scoured the jacket aisle.

Like a beacon, his mark suddenly flared up however, white hot and making him wince as he pushed the jackets across the rail. He put a hand under his armpit to touch it gingerly, only to look up and realise _why_ it had reacted so abruptly. 

Kageyama was stood a few feet away, staring at him with a shopping bag in hand, and his gaze was somehow more painful than the mark’s burning. It was too late to look away and pretend he hadn’t seen him but Kageyama did so anyway, nearly walking right into a mannequin in his haste to leave the area.

A few onlookers sniggered at that and despite himself, Iwaizumi almost told them to shut up. But he didn’t. And Kageyama ran off with his face red and whatever he’d been shopping for likely forgotten.

“Hey,” Oikawa bumped into his shoulder, eager to show off his new sweater and completely oblivious as to what had just happened, “Guess what.”

“What?” Iwaizumi answered noncommittedly.

“They didn’t have my size at first but then I pretended it was for a girlfriend and they ‘found’ one in the back.”

“Great.”

Looking at him, Oikawa frowned, “What’s wrong?”

Snapping himself out of it, he shook his head, “Nothing. Just – I was hoping you wouldn’t actually buy that thing.”

“Hey!”

They re-joined Hanamaki and Matsun after that but while they discussed possibly going to see a movie together, Iwaizumi passed and said he had to head home. He wasn’t sure what inane excuse he gave, his head full of other issues, but it seemed to work and they let him go without argument.

On his way home however, he wished that he’d stayed when his thoughts delved back into the guilt he tried to ignore every day. He knew where it had sprung from, but knowing wasn’t the same as fixing it and some days, he wasn’t even sure he could if he wanted to.

.

In his third year at Kitaiichi, whilst waiting for Oikawa to finish up after their practice, he managed to stop him from hitting their kouhai in the face. At the time, he’d not really put much thought into the mood Oikawa had seemed to have been in but he’d known that something might happen, considering how stressed Oikawa he’d gotten.

If he was honest though, he’d only expected him to yell or insult Kageyama, not attempt to hit him. So after he’d hashed it out with him about his state of mind and had knocked some sense back into him, he’d gone up to the changing rooms with the intent of walking home and checking on Kageyama tomorrow. He’d taken a step back long enough.

Once he arrived however, Kageyama had been waiting and almost immediately, any sense of responsibility that he’d gotten vanished when he thought of what Oikawa might do if he came up and saw him again.

With effort, he’d pushed that aside because Kageyama had probably been affected himself by what had happened too, and he did have an obligation to check that. So he’d planned to do so but to do so quickly, when Kageyama spotted him and widened his eyes with concern.

“Iwaizumi-san!” He straightened, shirtless and in his shorts, and if anyone else walked in they’d have probably found the situation questionable so Iwaizumi quickly shut the door and turned away.

“Get dressed, Kageyama.” He told him, and he heard some hasty shuffling immediately after.

“Right! I just – um. Is – is Oikawa-san … ?”

“He’s fine. Just stressed out.” The shuffling stopped so Iwaizumi deemed it safe to turn around, watching as Kageyama curled in a little with his hands bunched in the hem of his shirt, chewing on his bottom lip.

For a moment they simply stared at each other before, belatedly, Iwaizumi realised that he should probably say something. “He never would have hit you, you know that right?”

Kageyama nodded, fishing in his bag for something and then holding it out for Iwaizumi to take. It was a box of Pocky. “Here.”

“Oh, no thanks.” Feeling sure that he wasn’t too upset now, Iwaizumi smiled, shaking his head, “Look it’s late, Kageyama. Shouldn’t you be heading home?”

“Yes.” He put his pocky away, “I just – I wanted to make sure Oikawa-san was okay.”

Of course he had. Because he was young and open and hadn’t seen the fear Oikawa had of his talent, “Well you’ve checked now, so go on out of here.” He let Kageyama gather his stuff, moving aside to let him past before putting a hand on his head as he went, “Look, you’re a good kid, Kageyama. Thank you.”

Almost immediately at the touch however, he felt a shiver run hot beneath his skin, surrounding his mark like electricity until Kageyama dropped his bag at the mirrored sensation, his own eyes as wide as Iwaizumi’s probably were. They stared at each other, shocked, until the sound of gym doors being locked reminded Iwaizumi that Oikawa was still here.

Panicked, he grabbed Kageyama’s bag and shoved it toward him, pushing him out the door, “See you tomorrow, Kageyama.” Mercifully, the kid didn’t question his behaviour and actually walked away, his steps slow and unsure but they’d been _away_ so Iwaizumi hadn’t paid much attention.

A moment later, Oikawa jogged up the stairs to meet him, a slight stain on his upper lip from his nosebleed but otherwise in high spirits.

“You still here?” He asked, walking past to get dressed, “I have the keys you know.”

“Yeah I know.” Iwaizumi muttered, half-listening to him as the tingling in his mark intensified.

At home, he stripped to look at it in the mirror and saw exactly what he’d been afraid of; the mark had blurred, the swirl of colour that had once been simple and blocked, had become a spiral of different hues and ripples. He’d gone through life with it being a maroon-ish smudge, but after touching Kageyama it had meshed into greens and blues.

Beyond shocked, he tried to think of any time, brief or not, where he’d touched Kageyama, skin-to-skin, but wasn’t able to think of any. Not even a high-five or a handshake.

So left with the overwhelming evidence that Kageyama was his soulmate, he’d done what any teenage boy would have done and denied it, ignoring whatever he’d felt and avoiding Kageyama asking him about it.

After a few awkward and, at times, tense moments, the kid finally took the hint and left the conversation alone, retreating up until Iwaizumi eventually graduated.

He was sure however, that if he’d been a little less stubborn, he would probably have noticed that Kageyama had retreated from everyone else too, not just from him, but he’d been too focused on avoiding him that he hadn’t really seen it until after watching Kageyama’s disastrous match in his third year. And by then it was too late to really do anything about it.

Now however, it seemed as though his kouhai might have wised up in the years since their marks’ blurring and had probably realised he’d not done anything to deserve the avoidance he’d gotten. Or at least Iwaizumi assumed he had, if the cold shoulder he got whenever their paths crossed was any indication.

He knew that one of these days, he might need to mend that bridge, or at least try to, but something held him back every time.

.

Midway through Spring, Exams were once again around the corner for most of the prefecture but considering that Iwaizumi was planning on staying back a year, to try and defeat Shiratorizwa once and for all, he didn’t have very many to sit. The college catch-up classes however were a lot harder than he was used to, so like the first and second years, he became a regular at the library.

He avoided the weekends and the busiest periods, lowering the possibility of him seeing anyone he might know, but his third week there, he stepped into the main area and spotted Karasuno’s Glasses sitting at one of the tables near the centre. He paused briefly, debating with himself as to whether he should come back another time or just head home, only to scoff and just find a seat behind the shelves. Despite no one knowing his age, he felt stupidly self-conscious to be seen here as most everyone else was younger than him, so he usually tried to find a seat slightly hidden to the rest of the library.

The one he found today gave him a perfect view of Glasses however, which in turn gave him a perfect view of Kageyama when he came inside a few minutes later.

He didn’t notice him at first though, not until he heard Glasses sneer and say, “What? No.” Making him look up and spot Kageyama stood just a few feet away from him.

He tensed up immediately, stuck where he was, but bizarrely his instinct to avoid didn’t come into play for once. Instead, he stayed sat and tried not to eavesdrop, which may have been an indication of maturity if it succeeded.

Kageyama hovered beside the table Glasses was on, a paper book in hand, and though he looked as though he’d rather drink spoilt milk than say it, he added, “Please. I’m – "

"The _last_ time I taught you two,” Glasses cut him off, “You nearly sent me to the brink of insanity."

Kageyama bristled at the insult but visibly swallowed down any comment that he might say against it, "It's just me this time. And you're not _teaching_ me, you're just helping me with the lines and – ”

"No. Go ask Yachi-san. Or Hinata." Kageyama gave him a look that clearly said there was no way the two of them would be much help with this but when Glasses didn't look up again, he visibly realised that it would be fruitless to ask any more and just left the area.

He almost walked right into their pinch server as he went, the latter putting his hands up in defence and moving out of his way, heading over to Glasses immediately, "Hey. What did Kageyama want?" He climbed into a cushiony chair, setting down his lunch besides Glasses’ books.

"The school's festival is coming up in a month and he's been given the main part in his class play," He told him, turning a page in the book, and despite himself Iwaizumi’s curiosity piqued, "He wanted me to help him learn his lines and teach him how to get into character."

“Ah really,” Pinch Server smiled, looking bemused, “But you said no?”

“Obviously.” Glasses rolled his eyes, radiating irritation heavily, but Pinch Server wasn’t deterred.

 _“Tsukki_ – ” Whatever he was going to say was cut off however when he glanced up and met Iwaizumi’s gaze dead on. Too late to look away, Iwaizumi was stuck staring back, watching as Pinch Server frowned and then shuffled closer, whispering something to Glasses.

A second later, Glasses glanced over his shoulder to look at him too and Pinch Server punched him in the arm in frustration. It was pretty obvious what was going on though, even without hearing what they’d said, so Iwaizumi sighed and packed his books up. He was never going to concentrate here now, but the café downstairs probably had a few spare seats and it was usually warmer too.

He felt their eyes on him as he left but refrained from looking back, jogging down the steps toward the café only to literally collide right into someone near the foyer, the impact knocking the wind right out of him.

“Ah – ”

Kageyama hissed behind his teeth, the coffee he was holding bursting over his chest and seeping through onto his jumper, blinking down at it in shock rather than pain.

“Shit.” Iwaizumi reacted for him, trying to dab at the coffee quickly with his sleeve, their history secondary to the immediate problem, “I’m sorry.”

“Iwaizumi-san?” Kageyama frowned at him, confused. He then pulled his jumper off, using it to wipe the shirt that he had on beneath.

“Here, let me.” Iwaizumi tried to take the jumper from him but Kageyama held on tight.

“It’s fine. Iwaizumi-san – ” He yanked the jumper back when Iwaizumi ignored him and still tried to help, getting annoyed, “Stop it.” He snapped, glaring, and if anyone hadn’t been watching them before, they certainly were now.

“I – ” Iwaizumi glanced around to try and diffuse the situation but Kageyama saw his shifting and his glare intensified. Instead of saying anything though, he simply moved past to head for the café, probably going to buy another coffee now that his was spilt.

Throwing caution to the wind and feeling beyond guilty however, Iwaizumi followed him, “Here, I’ll get it.” He offered, and now Kageyama was looking at him with surprise.

“Huh?”

“The coffee. I’ll pay for it.” He joined him at the counter, and Kageyama frowned at him some more but didn’t dispute it, ordering a black coffee with no cream. It wasn’t what Iwaizumi would have expected he’d be drinking but he paid for it nonetheless.

“Thank you,” Kageyama said to the barista, and then to Iwaizumi, his need for politeness winning against his urge to be angry.

“It’s fine.” Putting his wallet away, Iwaizumi shrugged, “It was my fault.” A petty person would have commented that he hadn’t taken responsibility for anything else in their relationship, but Kageyama wasn’t so, “Didn’t think you’d be an Americano person.”

Kageyama blinked, “A what?”

“Americano.” Iwaizumi gestured to the cup, “The coffee. It’s black?”

“Oh.” Looking at it, Kageyama visibly came to terms with the name, “It’s not for me. I don’t drink coffee. But I thought – Tsukishima might like it so – ” His cheeks darkened at the admission and he hunched his shoulders, “Anyway. Thank you. I – bye.”

He tried to move past but spurned on by some strange urge to stop him, Iwaizumi blurted out, “I don’t think coffee is enough of a bribe to get him to help you.”

Kageyama looked at him, “What?”

“I was up there earlier. I heard you.” Shoving his hands in his pockets, he shrugged, “That you’re in a play?”

“Oh. … yes.” Now very obviously confused, Kageyama took a step back, “My – teacher said I needed to have more confidence, in speaking and stuff.”

“Right.”

“But there’s so many lines and I keep forgetting them.”

“And no one else can help you?”

“Hinata’s worse than me,” Kageyama scoffed, “And – Yachi-san doesn’t – she’s nervous all the time too so – ”

Iwaizumi had no idea who Yachi was but he didn’t ask, “And your senpais?”

Kageyama met his gaze, suddenly serious and maybe even a little angry, “Iwaizumi-san, why are you talking to me?” He asked.

The bluntness of the question took him by surprise. “What?”

“Why are you talking to me?” Kageyama repeated, “I thought you hated me.”

“Hated you?” Iwaizumi balked, even more taken aback than before, “I don’t – no. I don’t _hate_ you. Why would you – ?”

“You do.” Kageyama insisted, “ _Oikawa-san_ hates me. And you’re his best friend. And when we were at Kitaiichi – ”

Panicked by what he might say, Iwaizumi grabbed him by the arm and tugged him out of the café and toward the toilet enclosure, out of sight, “Are you stupid?” He hissed, “You don’t mention our marks out in public.”

Kageyama tugged his arm free, “Why not?” He snapped, “If it is because you hate me then just _say_ so, Iwaizumi-san.”

“I’m not – ”

“I don’t know what I did to you and to Oikawa-san but – ”

His blood boiling a little, Iwaizumi tried to temper it with understanding that Kageyama had every right to talk to him like this, considering how he’d behaved in the past. “I don’t hate you Kageyama, okay,” He cut him off, “It’s not that.”

“Then _what?”_

“It’s complicated.”

“No it isn’t!”

“How would you know; you don’t even know why!” He ended up snapping himself but Kageyama only stiffened and continued, not backing down, and how had this gotten so heated so quickly?

“Then _tell me – !”_

“Dammit it, _think_ about it! How can we be soulmates, Kageyama? How?” Incensed now, every thought that he’d ever had on this subject mashing together in his head.

“We – ”

“We’re both _guys!”_ Saying it aloud, he wasn’t sure that was true fear he had about this but it seemed to fit, “And two guys can’t be together!”

Kageyama blinked, “Why not?” He asked, sounding genuinely confused by the notion, “If our marks are – ”

“Our marks are obviously wrong.” Iwaizumi bit, getting angrier over Kageyama’s ignorance, “And even if you _weren’t_ a guy, like you said, Oikawa is my best friend and I doubt I’d be soulmates with someone who could come between that!”

“But I _wouldn’t_ – ”

“You would Kageyama.” He snapped, “You know it too. And whenever you guys fought? Would I be expected to take your side over his, just because we’re apparently ‘soulmates’?”

Looking far too hurt for this, Kageyama stared at him, “No. But – ”

“And it’s not the way things are done either. Soulmates can’t be two guys. Okay? So I need you to – to just push that out of your head and not mention it, alright? I don’t _hate_ you, I just – no one can know about the marks, that’s all.”

Breathing a little too quickly, Kageyama pressed his lips together, before turning to leave. His defeatist attitude was jarring and like the wind leaving a sail, Iwaizumi’s anger and panic left him.

“Look,” He stepped forward, “How about _I_ help you? With your play?” He offered it as an olive branch, a route for friendship, but when Kageyama turned back he realised it was too late.

Wiping at his face, Kageyama shook his head ‘no’ and practically fled the scene before Iwaizumi could see him cry any longer, the after-effects of his exit hitting like a truck once he was gone.

Shit. Iwaizumi stared after him, running a hand through his hair and tugging it at the roots. _Shit._

Maybe there was a reason these kinds of thoughts should be kept back.

.

A week later and on a foggy Saturday morning, he was startled out of his nap by someone thumping on his bedroom door, but when he opened it to see Oikawa he immediately wished he’d just pretended to still be asleep anyway.

“Hey,” Oikawa pushed in, throwing himself onto the bed, “You missed practice.”

“I wasn’t feeling good, I told you.” Iwaizumi reminded him.

“Yeah I know, why do you think I’m here?” He gestured to the door, “Mum sent me over with that.” There was a bag propped against the wall, with a tub of hot soup in it and a bottle of juice.

“Oh. Thanks.” He picked it up, opening the soup to take a long sip before joining Oikawa on the bed. They sat in silence for a while before eventually, Oikawa pushed himself up to poke him in the side.

“So. What’s up?”

“You’re the one who came over to mine, you tell me.”

“You’re not fooling me, Iwa-chan.”

“What?” Iwaizumi gave him a look, “What the hell are you going on about now, dumbass?”

His smile fading, Oikawa regarded him seriously, “You’ve been ‘off’ all week. And if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’m going to try to guess it and you know you hate that, so … “

“Nothing’s wrong.” Iwaizumi insisted, “I’ve just been feeling sick.”

“All week?”

“All week.”

“Okay,” Standing, Oikawa took the soup out of his hands and placed it somewhere safe out of the way, before then taking a pillow and thwapping Iwaizumi in the face with it, “Guess I have to guess it then.”

“Hey – !”

“Let’s see. Uh … you saw Hanamaki naked?”

“ _What?”_ The pillow hit him again and he wasn’t quite fast enough to catch it.

“No? So you saw _Matsun_ naked?”

“I didn’t see anyone naked!” Iwaizumi shouted, dodging the pillow.

“Ah ha!” Oikawa held the pillow high above his head, “So you _want_ to see someone naked but can’t?”

“What?” Iwaizumi blanched at that, checking that the door was closed and that his mother couldn’t hear what was going on, “You – ”

“I’m getting close, huh.”

“No! You’re not!”

“Yes I am. You want to see someone naked, or just _see_ someone, but you think you can’t.” Staring up at him, Iwaizumi flinched in preparation for the pillow to hit him, but Oikawa just tossed it aside, folding his arms across his chest, “And you think you can’t … because of _me?”_

“I – ” A little worried now that he was coming so close, Iwaizumi frowned, his mind blank as he tried to come up with something else, anything else, to say, “You – I’m not – no.”

Looking down at him, serious once again, Oikawa sighed, “You remember Karasuno’s pinch server? Number 12?” At Iwaizumi’s nod, he continued, “Well he got my number.”

“He what?”

“Yeah, I don’t know how, or who the hell gave it to him, but he called me a few days ago. Said he had something he thought I should hear.” He smiled a little, “He also sounded _pretty_ mad at you.” 

His heart beating far too fast, Iwaizumi braced to run, but Oikawa didn’t laugh or mock him or do anything that his imagination had once provided and simply sat back on the bed, cross-legged and facing him.

“So. Tobio-chan’s your soulmate.” He didn’t wait for an answer, “And you think, what, that I’m such a dick I’d want you to reject him so I don’t have to deal with him? What kind of friend do you think I am?”

“That’s not – ”

“Shut up.” Oikawa held a hand up, “You’re getting yelled at, be quiet and listen.” He used that same hand to point at him, “Why didn’t you ever tell me? I mean I probably would have laughed a bit at the irony, but Iwa-chan … I’d never make you reject your _soulmate_ for me.”

Suddenly overcome by shame, Iwaizumi shook his head, “It’s not just that, okay. I’m not – you were an excuse, I think. Or – I don’t know. Maybe I could have worked around it, I could have – ” He put his face in his hands, physically unable to finish the sentence, “But how can I – ?”

“What?” Shuffling closer, Oikawa put a hand on his shoulder, “If you’re worried about what people might say then screw them! And I can beat anyone up who says something! Or – I can send you to beat them up.”

Iwaizumi snorted, “You’ll send _me_ to beat someone up _for_ me?”

“Well you’re a lot more aggressive than me,” Oikawa informed him, “And better at ignoring what people say too.”

“It’s not that people will talk, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi snapped without anger, “It’s – I mean – maybe the universe got it _wrong.”_

“Maybe.” Oikawa admitted, “But if it’s because you’re both guys, then you might need to tell Hanamaki and Matsun that they can’t be soulmates too.”

He choked on his own breath, “What?”

Oikawa frowned. “You know this.”

“I really don’t.”

“They’ve been blurred for like _years_ , Iwa-chan. Ever since they met obviously. And they started dating seriously last year.”

“I’ve – ” Iwaizumi blinked, trying to see if this was some kind of joke Oikawa was playing on him but he didn’t laugh or claim that Iwaizumi _should have seen his face_ , so he had to assume he was being honest, “Really?”

“Really.”

“But I – well who _knows?”_

 _“Everyone?”_ Oikawa smiled, with disbelief, “I mean, even your mum knows Iwa-chan.”

“What? No she doesn’t!” He sat back, “She doesn’t know because then – that’d mean she – ”

“That she accepts it?” Oikawa raised an eyebrow, “Duh. And so do you, Iwa-chan, I _know_ you. You’re not scared of this.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.” He folded his arms over his chest, “You’re scared of something else but you’ve convinced yourself that it’s this ‘two guy’ thing.” He knew that Oikawa was perspective but it was always a shock to hear his thoughts said aloud perfectly when he hadn’t even realised them himself, “So what is it, really? Huh?”

“I don’t – ” He blinked, stumped, “I – ”

“What’s the real reason, Iwa-chan?” Oikawa pressed, “Hm?”

“I don’t know. I just – I know this isn’t it – ”

“Why not?”

“Why – _because.”_

“Because _why?”_

“Because I messed up!” He blurted, his face burning, and Oikawa sat back, “I – I messed up. Okay? I panicked and I pushed him away and I said some things and now – now I don’t know.” He hunched over, “I was so afraid of me and you getting affected, I didn’t think of him until it was too late. I didn’t – you should have seen his _face_ the last time we spoke.”

“Did he cry?” Iwaizumi hit him, “Ow! I’m being serious!”

“Yes.” He bit, “He cried. And I’m not surprised he did, I was an asshole.”

“Well Tobio-chan is sensitive.”

“Oikawa.”

“Alright, so make it up to him!” He waved a hand, as though it was that easy.

“I don’t know how.” He admitted, pressing his lips together, “I’m not – I’ve never had to do this before.”

His hint was obvious but Oikawa didn’t take offence, “Okay, well. The best way is to buy stuff, like chocolates or flowers. But I don’t think Tobio-chan’s that kind of guy, so … maybe offer to train with him or something? Help him with something he needs?”

“He’s in a play.” Iwaizumi remembered, “And he needed help with lines.” Oikawa smiled, nodding, and almost immediately changed the topic to the two of them possibly playing a board game together instead.

He knew it was a distraction to stop him delving too far into _why_ he needed to make it up to Kageyama, but he let it happen anyway. They played one for at least an hour together, laughing, which cemented that they were okay more than words would have but he still had to know.

“Hey,” As Oikawa was leaving, he stopped him with a hand on his arm, “Is my mum – really okay with this all?”

Oikawa’s face softened, “Yes.” He said, sounding so confident Iwaizumi believed him, “And so am I. Okay?”

He nodded, watching him leave, and somehow the confidence that Oikawa had had seeped into him for just a moment. He hovered over the stairs for a while, hearing his mother putter around downstairs, and though he nearly chickened out twice, he decided to just come out and say it; that he knew who his soulmate was and that they were the same gender as him.

He’d only know if she was okay with it if she told him directly herself, after all.

And depending on her answer, he’d know where to go from there as well.

.

Kageyama was in a shirt and shorts when Iwaizumi knocked on his front door the next weekend over, and he dropped his keys when he saw who it was outside.

“Hi,” Iwaizumi greeted him, “Can I come in?”

For a moment, he was sure the door might be slammed shut in his face, but Kageyama just took a step back instead and nodded.

“I brought this too,” Iwaizumi added, holding a bag of takeaway up. “I didn’t know what you liked so I – I got everything.”

“Oh. Okay.” Kageyama stared at him, “Thank you?”

“I offered to help you learn your lines, remember?” Iwaizumi pressed, his nervousness filling his stomach the longer he stood there, “I know you never said ‘yes’ but – well. Here I am.” He shrugged, “I need to talk to you too.”

“Um.” Kageyama glanced behind him at the stairs, a non-subtle gesture that he wanted Iwaizumi to go, but he didn’t let that deter him. If he had to have this conversation in the porch, then so be it.

“Look.” He set the bag down, “I’m not – I’m just going to say it okay?” Almost immediately, Kageyama stiffened and he realised how that sounded, quickly adding what he really meant afterward, “I was an ass. To you.”

Kageyama blinked, “What?”

“I was an ass.” Iwaizumi repeated, “I was stupid and scared and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. We _are_ soulmates. I mean, we must be with how stubborn we both are.” Kageyama didn’t laugh at the joke, but he hadn’t really expected him to really, “And I was kind of hoping … we could start again. And try.”

“I – don’t understand,” Kageyama frowned, pausing long enough that Iwaizumi wasn’t sure whether he should ask ‘what part?’, before eventually saying, “What about Oikawa-san?”

“He’s the one who talked sense into me,” Iwaizumi admitted, “And helped me think of a way to apologise.” He shrugged again, “So yeah. I – I’m _so_ sorry, Kageyama. And I hope … I hope you can forgive me.”

For a moment, he was confident he’d overdone it, or maybe underdone it, when he didn’t get an answer at all. But then a moment later, the stairs creaked and they both looked up to see a girl with blonde hair trying to come down them.

She jumped when they spotted her, looking both scared and sheepish, “Um. Hi. Kageyama-kun. I – I think I should go.” She practically tip-toed past them then, completely unnecessarily, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Without even putting on her shoes, she left the house, holding them in her arms in her haste to leave.

Iwaizumi stared after her in bewilderment, startling out of that when he heard Kageyama stifle a laugh behind a hand.

“That was Yachi-san,” He explained, “She was – helping me.”

“Oh. The – nervous girl, you mentioned.”

Kageyama pressed a hand to his mouth again, clearly amused by her behaviour, and Iwaizumi was glad it had softened the atmosphere enough for him to smile too.

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Lifting the bag up, Iwaizumi gestured to the stairs, “Shall I take over?”

“Not yet.” Kageyama glared at him suddenly and he froze, not quite sure what had gone wrong so quickly, “I want to make sure you mean it. What you said.”

“Oh. Uh – how do you want me to – ?” He widened his eyes when Kageyama simply stepped forward and pressed their lips together hard, squeezing his own eyes shut as he did when their noses bumped painfully. “Oh – hey.” He pushed him back gently, his heart thudding but fear seemed to be far away now, “Just – let me.”

His face reddening, Kageyama nodded and let him cup his cheeks and draw him in, kissing him a little softer and sincerely, “There.” He smiled, “Does that prove it?”

Kageyama met his gaze, clearly wanting to nod or agree but he stopped himself in time, pointing down to the bag of takeaway, “You owe me more of these first.”

Iwaizumi laughed, feeling so much lighter than he had been in years, “Deal.”

.

 **Trash-man: When you dump him, I'll still be here for you -** (Sent 1m ago)

**Me: Shut up dumbass.**

.

**Author's Note:**

> I was to apologise to SabaTobiuo for taking so long with this. Things just kept coming up and some of the fic ideas I had would have gone on for far too long, so I had to cut it down and work from there. 
> 
> Which, unfortunately, meant I took ages! So _sorry_ , but I hope you like it!!
> 
> Also - I deliberately didn't show the scene where he spoke to his mother, as again, it would have gone on too long and I didn't want to half-heart it :)


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